Monthly Archives: August 2015

My Day at the Splatter Park….

Posted On August 26, 2015| Leave a reply

Who says being a SAHM (stay-at-home-mama) isn’t rewarding?

Today my offspring gifted me with a surprise trip to the local Splatter Park! Seriously, I did not see this coming. I was stunned. Such thoughtful children I am raising. My gift was actually a few days in the making….

Saturday afternoon Sunshine caught herself a fever. Not a huge concern for her, because she was granted free access to the digital thermometer. With her fever came the screeching halt to the date-night I had planned with Doc. I even made a reservation! Not flying by the seat of my pants this time. I had a plan. But, I would not be the mama that leaves their delirious, puppy-eyed daughter with a sitter…. To be honest, I asked Sunshine if she would mind. With a cocked head, squinted eyes and a turned up lip, she politely told me she would prefer I stay home. Emoji has nothing on the faces my girl can conjure up.

Not to be one-upped by his sister, Boy Wonder felt a little warm after dinner. Not warm enough to require medication. Sunshine was quite bummed about this. Apparently it wasn’t ‘fair’ that she had to choke down two baby Tylenol and her brother didn’t.

Sunday morning I awoke to Sunshine sharing my pillow. She could have a future as a ninja! Alas, she was still warm. Hot, actually. Boy Wonder was fine. His day proceeded as planned. Playing soccer IN the Columbus Crew stadium WITH Crew players and former Ohio State football players!  I arranged it, sent in the check and hyped it up, but I did not get to go. Doc had to take my ENORMOUS camera and capture the excitement for me. It was a cancer fundraiser for the LampStrong Foundation. Check it out!


Noah with his WINNING team!

Sunshine and I hung out in bed ALL day. We watched 273 episodes of KC Undercover and about 10 minutes of Beverly Hills Cop 2. I must have been in a stupor from the Disney channel; that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! When the boys got home, little fever girl had a burst of energy and ran around like a crazy woman. She announced at 8pm that she was hungry, so Doc ran to Panera to get her a salad. She gobbled it up and was asleep about 11 minutes after her head hit the pillow.

Back to today (Monday)…..

My alarm woke me this morning and guess what? Ninja-girl was again sharing my pillow. She has skills. I snuck out of bed and went to tend to Boy Wonder. I don’t always follow the rules, but one I am a stickler about is the “Your child must be fever-free for 24 hours before returning to school.” Oh how I wish all parents followed this rule. I curse those who don’t…’s probably YOUR child who germed all over my child. Grrrr! Sunshine and I were slated for another day of the Disney channel and lots of quality time.

Boy Wonder raced through his Morning Routine and was rewarded with 20 minutes of free time. He disappeared to the playroom to clash some clans or check on his creepers. Meanwhile, Sunshine snuck down to the couch and scared the snot out of me when I walked by! She didn’t look too good. The digital thermometer declared her fever-free. This time it was her tummy. But she was hungry. She ordered a piece of cinnamon toast and was granted temporary “couch eating privileges” only because she was sick!

Wondering about the Splatter Park? Keep reading…..

It was time for Boy Wonder to head to the bus stop. I only had to call his name once….he wanted to be sure his free time was not snatched away for tomorrow! He’s putting his shoes on, I’m tripping over Jagger and answering Sunshine’s never ending questions when I hear, “Mama, my nose is bleeding.” I did not rush to the mudroom as he has bloody noses pretty regularly when the seasons change. Lucky guy has allergies! He knows what to do and I trusted him to do it. After apologizing to the dog I went to check on him. My very smart son was having a not-so-smart moment. He was standing in the bathroom, yet not over the sink. Blood was dripping out of his nose and SPLATTERING all over the floor. He was carefully arched forward to spare his new Under Armor shirt from getting bloody, but to hell with my floors. I pushed guided him to the sink, grabbed a handful of tissues and pinched his nose. I handed off the pinching to him so I could get some paper towels to clean up the small crime scene on my floor. Boy Wonder decided it was a good time to check to see if the bleeding had stopped……it hadn’t. I returned with the paper towels to see gallons of blood pouring out of his nose and SPLATTERING into the sink, up the wall, on the mirror; everywhere!

It eventually stopped. I cleaned up the bloody mess and kissed my son. He rewarded me with, “You’re the best mama in the world.” I’d clean blood off my walls every day to hear that. By now the bus has come and gone. We made it 8 days without missing it. But today, really?! Why today? Natalie’s upset tummy and lack of clothing has rendered her unable to move. She begs me to let her stay home alone while I drive Noah to school. I waver for a minute, but decide that letting her stay will be easier and faster than dressing her and forcing her into the car. Go ahead and call Children Services, I could use a vacation!

I arm her with a phone and our 18 pound attack dog. I list the rules….don’t answer the door, don’t get off the couch and call me so we can chat. I set the alarm and drove rather quickly to school. She called. We talked the whole way (7 minutes there, 3 minutes in the drop off line and 7 minutes back home). She asked me a dozen “What If” questions and was very proud of herself for staying home alone.

She was hungry again. This time she ordered a piece of peanut butter toast. And a Ginger Ale. I delivered the toast, grabbed the ale and remembered she likes to use a straw with her soda. As I was getting the straw, I stop dead in my tracks because I hear a sound. It was a splashing water type of sound. But where? Oh no, Jagger is peeing on the hardwood, right?! No. Vomit is SPLATTERING out of Sunshine’s mouth all over the floor. I am too far away to save her. “Don’t move!” is all I can think to say. Might as well keep it all in one spot. She doesn’t stop. It just keeps coming and SPLATTERING everywhere. I rush over with the paper towels (they were still on the counter from the bloody nose incident) and proceed to wipe off her mouth. Her ice-blue eyes look at me and she says, “I HATE puke”, me too baby, me too. She’s finally empty. I cover the vomit with paper towels (the last thing I need is for Jagger to get into it!), scoop her up and take her to the shower. She tells me she’s sorry. I tell her she never needs to apologize for throwing up. As soon as those words cross my lips I have a vision of her puking in her friend’s car after a night of Jagerbombs….. that will require an apology, but I decide that is a lesson for a later time. Sunshine showers. I, for the second time in less than an hour clean up hazardous waste.

We spend the day playing Life (she won), cleaning her room (I was sneaky, she thought we were looking through her really cool stuff), watching the Good Luck Charlie movie (I miss that show) and playing War (I know she stacks her deck)….. but look at how cute she is:


She refused to let me include her face. Diva!

Doc comes home and gets roped into playing Life. I attempt to clean the kitchen and race to the bus to get Noah. Everyone is feeling fine by now. No fevers. No bloody noses. No puking. I made it. It’s a beautiful night so we all head outside after dinner. My team enjoys a game of Wall Ball while I sneak to the front yard and bring a quick death to the weeds that like to torment me. I am determined to win the war! Doc gives me the night off and puts both kids to bed. Sweet man. I use my time wisely and call my bestie who moved away. It’s been like 3 years, but I am still bitter!  I tell her all about my day at the SPLATTER Park. She laughs with me. I feel better. As we are saying good-bye I walk into the mudroom to let Jagger out for his last potty break. Apparently I have a competitive dog on my hands. Not to be outdone by the little people in our house, he has decided to SPLATTER the mudroom floor with his own bile. Three separate places. Seriously. I’m curious because his dinner is still in his bowl. What made him sick? I grab the paper towels for the 3rd time today and start sopping up more vomit. He’s watching me from his bed.


I can tell he is sorry.

I’m on the last pile when I recall Doc telling me to keep Jagger off of the patio for the day because he sprayed the weeds. Damn weeds. Perhaps the warnings are true… can and WILL make your pet sick. Ugh.

I am afraid to put the paper towels away. And by the way, Bounty really is the ‘quicker picker upper’! It is now 11:11pm (no lie). My day at the SPLATTER Park is almost over. I am praying that my family does not make this an annual gift.

Live Creatively,





The Sun is Still Shining, but The School Bus Arrived Anyway!

Posted On August 18, 2015| Leave a reply

Summer. Is. Officially. Over.

My future valedictorians have completed 4 full days of school. Happy to report they love their teachers (whew) and we have yet to miss the bus. Small victories are sometimes the sweetest.



Sunshine is a big 2nd grader. She’s in a double class. 48 kids. 2 teachers. Her education is in the hands of Mr. B and Mrs. W this year and I could not be happier. These two should write a book on how to run a double classroom. She patiently waited all summer with hopes of being in their room. Sunshine is an angel at school. She has everyone fooled. She sits quietly for longer than 5 minutes. She completes her work on time without whining. And she never rolls her eyes and utters ‘whatever’. Split personality disorder? I think so.


Yes, that is a ‘leather’ skirt. And yes, she is rocking it!

Boy Wonder is top dog this year. FIFTH GRADE. Doesn’t seem real. He sits in the back of the bus. Carries a binder as big as his sister. Was given a locker. With a combination lock! Three teachers will be graced with his presence all year. Mrs. B (not the other half of the aforementioned Mr. B) is his ‘main’ teacher. He’s lucky. She’s awesome. He did have a moment of panic when he found out that homework could take up to an hour each night. Boy Wonder is not homework’s biggest fan. It’s so weird how his body is taken over by sighing, helpless, pouting aliens when it’s time to do homework. Every. Single. Day.


Checking out his LOCKER at Open House.

I, being the supportive mama that I am, was worried sick about my babies all day. I found that I could not concentrate on my household chores or even sit still long enough to pay the bills. I WebMD’d my symptoms and immediately followed the recommended cure……


Thank goodness for a comfy couch, high-quality reading material and a loyal pup! I felt much better after about 3 hours.

At 3:45 I rushed out the door. I may or may not have an alarm on my phone as a reminder to go to the bus stop every afternoon. Never claimed to be perfect!



Without missing a beat, Sunshine raced to me, flung her backpack at my face and grabbed Jagger’s leash. Well hello to you too! Boy Wonder was the last one off the bus….remember that back row seat? Might not be as coveted when you are 23rd in line to exit a humid bus! My son sauntered up to me and handed me his backpack as well. Apparently on weekdays at 3:50pm, my job title shifts to pack mule. He did hug me (he does love me!), but the hug quickly faded into, “Can I play with friends?”. So much for sitting on the porch hearing tales of their first day while sipping the fresh squeezed lemonade I didn’t make. Humpff!

I decide to bank some “Best Mama Ever” points and tell them to GO PLAY.

Later while breaking bread together, I decide it is a good time to re-visit our After School Routine. Have I ever mentioned that routines make me happy? Very happy. I printed a new copy and went over each item in full detail. Here is our routine: after school.pages  It hangs in the mudroom for all to see. They are responsible for unpacking their bags and laying their folders and lunch boxes on the counter. While they are going potty and getting their snack, I clean out the lunch boxes and root through the folders. Snack consumption takes place at the counter. That way I can chat with them while they eat and get them started on any homework. Once homework is completed, they practice music (if currently enrolled) and do any chores they may have ‘forgotten’ from the day before or any that I make up for them to do! After that they change into sports gear if they have a practice or game. THEN they may have free time. It might sound like  a lot, but if the whining is at a minimum and we all stay focused free time is usually in full swing about 45 minutes after they cross the threshold. Praise Jesus if you are parenting a child who can be given free time right after school and then later focus on homework. My blessings are not wired that way. We’ve tried. Lots of times. Always a fail.

Since I had them held captive, I decided to remind them of our Morning Routine as well. For your viewing pleasure: morning.pages  This also hangs in the mudroom. We rise and shine at 7:15. They have an hour to complete the routine. They average about 20-25 minutes of free time each morning. Yes, I could let them sleep in longer and shorten the free time, but I have found that my kids despise being rushed….they get that from me! The ‘bed’ on the routine is really a suggestion to make their bed. I don’t make mine. Unless I know company is coming! So they wake up, get dressed, make their bed if they feel like it, turn off any lights and head down for breakfast. They eat while I pack lunches. Dishes get cleared and they move on to personal hygiene. There is usually a fight over who gets to use the prep sink to brush their teeth, but other than that, it’s usually painless. Once their mop is brushed and teeth are shiny they pack their snack and load their backpack. FREE TIME is anything they want. On nice days this will take place outside. Not so nice days will find Noah on the computer playing Mind Crap, I mean, Minecraft and Natalie in a comfy spot snuggling Jagger.


Our Routines

And just to tick them off a bit, I pulled out the Night Time Routine too! nightime.pages This little reminder hangs in their rooms. These very visibly placed routines have diminished the broken-record responses that I am tired of uttering!

So, with 4 successful days under our belt, that leaves us about 176 still to tackle. Here’s to taking one day at a time, making sure the wine fridge is stocked and remembering to breathe.

Live Creatively,